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| Offtopic : Snak om alt mellem himmel og jord |
en våd prut
 Mandag 07-05-2010 kl. 18:13 |
ved det.. den er set før.. men syns den fortjener en gentagelse...
Well, the last few days here have been hell on my bowels. I had the runs for a couple of days and I thought I was in the clear. I was relieved to be having dry farts and I though everything was going to be OK.
Anyways, I'm sleeping on my cot, when I'm suddenly awakened by some serious cramps and the urge to....well, let one loose. Now this is usually fun in a tent with 7 other guys (it's a guy thing), and I was silently laughing in anticipation of the stench that would soon fill the tent. I was expecting the normal gasps of outrage, and it was during these thoughts I tried to squeeze it out.
Well, there I am, laying on my stomach with my butt somewhat elevated under the covers. I'm pushing, but my butt feels kind of glued together, so I push harder. Suddenly, what erupted was not the loud blast I had been expecting. No, what I heard was a much quieter grurgling wet sounding Blaaaattt.
I lay there in silent mortification. I was pushing pretty hard, so the liquidy geyser that gushed forth was not small. I could feel it on my legs, back, and running under me.
At about this time I hear somebody say "what the hell was that"? I'm trying to lay thier quietly and figure out what to do next, when the smell hit me. Within a few seconds everybody else was gasping and leaving the tent.
I slowly got up and cleaned myself off the best I could with the clean parts of my sheets. I bundled them up and put them all in a plastic bag to take to the dumpster. About this time I hear the cans of deodorant spraying throughout the tent, so now there is a smell of crap and Old Spice, and about 3 other kinds of deodorant. Everbody is also pissed off at being awakened by the smell. One individual put on his gas mask. He was walking around sounding like Darth Vader when I hear him say "I think my mask is Fu&*#! because I can still smell it".
Everybody still thinks it was just a normal fart and I intend to keep it that way. I still have to figure out where to get some more sheets, but for now I'm going to break out my sleeping bag and reflect for a while on what happened.
http://www.svtperformance.com/forums/showthread.php?t=130109&pp=25&highlight=crapped+pants
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